I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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