I should be sponsored by Trojan
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize