I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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