I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
