so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
