If i come over, it means nothing
At least make sure they are 18
Why
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
My dick has a subreddit
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
