he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
