Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
