to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize