I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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