I think i peed on brittanys purse
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
how do you play pong handcuffed?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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