Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
then he tried to convert me to islam
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Dick very happy bro
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
