I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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