How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
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