Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
