You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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