Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
