I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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