I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
