I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
