There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
