I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Damn victory sex feels great
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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