The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
