dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
