a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
