Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
