Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
