I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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