in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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