the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
