Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
