Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
