Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
