Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
