Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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