There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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