i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Alive.
So much puke
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
