We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I forgot wine drunk hurts
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
