I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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