Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
