Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
