k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I deserve this hangover.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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