didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Can vaginas get frostbite?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
