I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
So vagazzling was a success
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize