He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
