Well apparently he's into motor boating.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
