i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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