fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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