Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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