i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
