wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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