Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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