Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
