Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
