Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
