So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
