i just had sex bonerless
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
