why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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