You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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