There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
