Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize