I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
