best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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