Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
