i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
